


Freal Luv

by katzmotelrm



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: BaekYeol - Freeform, ChanBaek - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 19:58:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12848430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katzmotelrm/pseuds/katzmotelrm
Summary: Warnings: self-harm, depression, suicide, harassment, may be sensitive to some audience





	Freal Luv

The blood dripped down my arm as the blade continued to cut my delicate skin. I couldn't even feel the blade going deeper into my skin. I just wanted to let go of everything. I was done. I'm ready now. Ready to let go. I could hear the faint meows from my cat as the blood started to pool on the bathroom floor. I had no control over the blade now, it just continued to cut my skin, over and over again. Before I knew it everything went black. No, not black, it was more of a maroon, a dark red. Everything went dark red.

-

"Chanyeol, it's time to wake."

I opened my eyes slightly, blinking a few times as I stared at the unperfect, semi-white ceiling, looking at every crack and stain that represented my life. I had been dropped into this hell hole yesterday, not even giving me a say in it. I don't want to be here, I never did, but when my mom found me passed out in the bathroom, a pool of blood next to my arm, she instantly flipped. I wish I could have died, I've had enough. I knew I couldn't keep this "happy virus" act up for much longer. My mother, so shocked she couldn't even bring me here her self, my sister did.

The door creaked open slowly as I sat up in bed, my entire forearm covered in bandages, liquids going into my other arm through a small tube. I looked to the door to see a nurse rolling in a tray of food, of course, I had been thinning out from not eating much, my blood sugar was low which probably was another reason for why I passed out. The nurse had a smile on her face as she brought the tray to my bed. I sat up completely as I looked down at the food, consisting of toast, eggs, and bacon. I really didn't want to eat, I wasn't feeling hungry at all.

"How are you feeling dear?" the nurse asked sweetly.

I looked at her with irritation, not wanting to be here or to be spoken to at all.

"I'm feeling fine," I lied through my teeth. I was feeling terrible.

"Well eat your breakfast, I'll come by a little later to bring you to the doctor," she said as she left the room, closing the door behind her with the faint sound of a lock.

I looked down at the food with a little disgust. I picked up the piece of toast and took small bight, I had to listen or I'd never leave this place.

-

"Park Chanyeol," the man with stubble on his chin said as he came into the room that I was dragged into, looking down at a clipboard. "I see you've got a lot of things going on with you."

I looked at him with anger as he came closer to me.

"Why don't you tell me what's been going on at home bud?" the doctor asked as he sat in the small swivel chair, looking at me like I was a five-year-old boy, but I wasn't, I'm eighteen.

"I've just been having a hard time," I said simply.

"How's your parent's relationship?" he asked as he started to write down a few things.

"Fine," I answered monotonously.

"They don't fight at all?"

"No."

"How about your relationships with friends?"

"I don't have any," I told him.

"You just moved didn't you?" the doctor asked, glancing up for a second.

"Yes."

"So tell me why you've been hurting yourself."

I froze for a minute, my expression not changing, but my heart rate increasing.

"I just," I started, not sure if I should tell him or not, no I have to. I have to listen so I can leave and never come back. "Hate myself."

The doctor nodded as he wrote done a few things. I looked at him nervously as my hand gripped to the side of the bed I was sitting on.

"Okay," the doctor said. "Well, we're going to prescribe some daily medicine and group therapy."

My eyebrows furrowed as I watched the doctor get up and head for the door.

"Wait, how long will I be here?" I asked with worry.

"Not sure yet, maybe weeks, maybe months," the doctor answered, before leaving the room.

I sat there with confusion not sure what was going on or what was going to happen, but I knew one thing and one thing only. I had to get the fuck out before I lose my mind.

-

The sun was shining through the window of my room. The nurse told me they didn't want me to walk too much so I was forced to spend the next few days in a wheelchair. She said I need to rest and that my body was weak, but I really did feel fine. It was almost time for the first group therapy. It happened every day from four pm to five pm. I really don't want to go, I don't want to talk to strangers about my problems. None of my parents have called me since I've been here. It's been about five hours since I woke up. There's nothing to do here, I feel like I'm already dying and it hasn't even been 24 hours.

"Chanyeol," the nurse called from the doorway.

I looked away from the window and made eye contact with the nurse.

"Would you like to go outside?" she asked a bit nervously. She was a nurse I've never met before, she seemed new to this job.

I let out a sigh and turned my wheelchair towards her.

"Sure," I answered, rolling myself to the door.

She smiled and got behind the chair as she started to push me out of the room. There were patients in the hallway, just roaming around. They looked confused and disconnected from the world. One man tried to touch me. How could they let it get like this?

The nurse took me to the elevator before getting to the lobby. She signed us out before pushing me out the front door. My eyes were blinded by the sun, I squinted a bit as she continued to push me down the sidewalk. I hadn't actually seen the outside of the building, I had been asleep when I was brought here, it was also very dark when I did wake for a split second. She brought me around the building to a garden where people were planting things.

"Can I be alone?" I asked as I looked up at the nurse.

"Sure, just stay where I can see you," she said as she left to sit on a bench nearby.

I wheeled myself away from the garden and over to a small paved trail that went over a small pond. I stopped on the bridge to look into the water where fish were swimming. I rolled off the bridge and went a little further.

I looked up to see someone crotched over picking some flowers. It was a boy who looked about my age. I decided to go over to him.

"Hey," I said awkwardly.

The boy looked up at me with a bit of confusion.

"I've never seen you before," the boy said to me.

"I'm Chanyeol, I just got here," I said as I looked at the boy. He was adorable. It made me sad to think he was probably here for the same reason I was.

"Oh," the boy said simply as he turned back to his flowers.

"Uh, what's your name?" I asked nervously.

"Baekhyun," the boy responded.

I smiled a little as the boy picked a purple flower. He stood up and turned to me with no expression, holding the flower out towards me.

"Here take this," he told me.

I took it from his hand and looked it over. I looked back up, but he was gone.

-

"Hi everyone," a man said with a huge smile on his face. "You all know me as Jungsoo, but looks like we have a new face today."

I stared at the man with disgust, not wanting to say anything.

"Why don't you introduce yourself," Jungsoo said to me.

"I'm Chanyeol," I answered simply, glancing at everyone around the circle.

"Welcome Chanyeol," Jungsoo said, his smile was annoying. "Now why don't we start off with saying one thing good and one thing bad that happened today."

I rolled my eyes knowing this was going to be stupid and pointless. I was already disappointed that Baekhyun wasn't here.

"Starting with Junmyun," Jungsoo said pointing to the boy beside him. He had a small smile and didn't look tense at all. In fact, he didn't look like he should be here at all.

"Well, one bad thing is that I got a paper cut from a book," the boy started. "And one good thing is that my mom came to visit."

I felt like puking. He seemed so happy for no reason. The worst part was that I couldn't tell whether or not he was faking.

"That's great Junmyun," Jungsoo said happily. "You seem to be getting much better."

"Yup," Junmyun said. "Doctor said I'll be let out in a week."

"Wow, that's great," Jungsoo said as he started clapping, everyone else joined to applaud Junmyun.

"How long has it been?" I asked out of nowhere, not even realizing I said it myself.

"Oh, um probably about one month," Junmyun said with a head nod.

"And now he's going to leave," Jungsoo pointed out as he patted Junmyun on the back with his interesting smile.

I looked to my right to see a boy who looked pretty upset about Junmyun leaving. I wondered why.

"Alright, Jongin, you're next," Jungsoo said to the boy who was slouched in his chair playing with his fingers.

"Nothing good happened and nothing bad happened," the boy said simply, not looking up at all.

"Come on, just tell us one thing," Jungsoo encouraged.

Jongin glared at Jungsoo with anger, sending shivers down my spine. I didn't want to ever make that guy angry.

"One good thing, I saw a dead mouse, one bad thing, I haven't seen Riri all day," Jongin said as he looked back down at his hands.

"Riri?" I accidentally asked out loud.

"Riri is the hospital cat, she hangs around from time to time," Jungsoo said as he smiled at me with the sinister look.

"Oh," I just said, not sure how else to respond.

"Minseok, would you please," Jungsoo said looking at the boy next to Jongin. He looked a little scared, paranoid actually. He was clearly shaking, I kind of just wanted to hold and help him stop shaking.

"Um, something good?" Minseok questioned to himself. I was watching him intensely, trying to figure him out. I looked at his arm, seeing a few small scars from under his sleeve that was rolled up slightly. Minseok looked across the circle to someone, my eyes followed his to see a boy smiling at Minseok. I looked back at Minseok to see he stopped shaking. "I got to have lunch with Luhan."

"That's sweet, did you guys have fun?" Jungsoo asked.

"Yes, it was really fun," the small boy said now smiling, he seemed to be looking at Luhan. "A bad thing was that I lost my I.D tag, but I found it."

"Good," Jungsoo said. His cheeks must hurt from smiling too much. "Jongdae?"

"Hmm?" the next boy hummed as he looked up, thinking about his answer. "I won a game on checkers and the cable went out in my room."

"Thank you," Jungsoo responded. I didn't think much about this Jongdae guy, he didn't really seem like he should be here either. "Kyungsoo."

"Oh, I finished a birdhouse, so that was good, and something bad was that I didn't like getting my shot today," Kyungsoo said shyly.

"Thank you Kyungsoo, now Sehun please," Jungsoo said.

I looked to the boy sitting next to Kyungsoo, but he didn't start talking, the next boy over did. I wondered why Jungsoo skipped him and I was about to say something, but a hand was placed on my thigh. I looked over to the boy on my right, he just simply shook his head at me. I looked at him with confusion, but I kept my mouth shut.

"My good thing was getting to sleep in and my bad thing was that I couldn't see my friend from the other ward," the boy known as Sehun answered.

"Alright Luhan, go," Jungsoo said a smile still on his face.

"The bad part of today was having to take a new medication, the good part was hanging out with Minseok."

"Wonderful," Jungsoo said. I noticed Luhan was eyeing Minseok down as the poor boy's cheeks flushed red. "Chanyeol, your turn."

"Oh me?" I questioned, not really paying attention, realizing Luhan was sitting next to me. "Uh, I guess the worst part of my day was that I might stay here for months and the good part ?" I stopped for a second. "I met someone new."

"Oh, a new friend? What's their name?" Jungsoo asked with interest.

"Um, Baekhyun," I answered.

A small chuckle was heard in the circle, my eye caught Jongin.

"Baekhyun? You don't want to be friends with him," Jongin said with a devious smirk.

"Jongin, please," Jungsoo said, his smile was gone and I suddenly feared him.

"I'm just trying to help our new friend out here," Jongin replied as he stared at me.

"Not now," Jungsoo said sternly. "Yixing, what's your good and bad thing?"

"My bad thing is that I missed pancakes at breakfast this morning, and the good thing is that I get to visit home tomorrow for three whole days," the boy who put his hand on my thigh earlier said.

"That's great, I hope you have a good time," Jungsoo said, his smile returning.

"Why don't we continue to talk about Baekhyun?" Jongin suggested with a devious smirk.

"What about him?" I asked with a little bit of worry.

"He's a hoe," Jongin said.

"Jongin, please," Jungsoo said, getting a bit angrier.

"What everyone knows it, who hasn't he fucked around with," Jongin said with a small chuckle.

"Jongin, you're just saying that cause you're jealous," Luhan said, as the sweat started to form on my forehead. I felt nervous and afraid.

"Do you actually want to fit right now?" Jongin asked as he stood up from his chair.

"Stop telling lies and we won't have to," Luhan said back, also getting up from his chair and meeting Jongin in the middle of the circle.

"We all know you had your piece of bacon too," Jongin said, inches away from Luhan's face. "Or are you settled with your little fattie over here?"

Luhan had had enough and grabbed the collar of Jongin's shirt, Jongin was laughing a little as he looked into Luhan's angry eyes.

"Luhan, Jongin," Jungsoo said as he pulled the two apart. "That's enough."

"Why don't you go back to fucking China," Jongin said as he walked out of the circle kicking his chair down, and walking out of the room.

Luhan huffed and sat back down next to me. I looked to Minseok who was looking down sadly. I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

-

I was finally able to roam around the ward today. They let me walk, finally getting out of the wheelchair. I was sitting in the recreational room just watching people as they wondered hopelessly.

"Hey!"

I looked over to the owner of the voice. It was the boy known as Yixing.

"Oh, hey," I said with a small smile. "Yixing, right?"

"Yeah," Yixing said with a smile. "And you're Chanyeol."

"Yup," I answered.

"How are you adjusting?" Yixing asked me.

"Not bad, I don't like it though," I told him with a sigh. I still haven't heard anything from my family. I honestly thought they would call by now.

"Hey, nobody does," Yixing said. He seemed pretty nice and friendly.

"Um, so how long have you been in here?" I asked nervously, knowing it was a touchy subject.

"Two months, I tried to you know," Yixing said and trailed his finger across his neck.

"Oh," I answered.

"It's okay, I'm doing better now," Yixing said with a reassuring smile.

"Can I ask you a few things Yixing?" I asked wanting to know more about the people in the group therapy, but more importantly, Baekhyun.

"Sure anything," Yixing answered.

"So what's with Luhan and Jongin?" I asked first not wanting to jump right into the subject about Baekhyun.

"Oh well Jongin is a little angry at everything," Yixing started. "He's here because he tried to kill himself and he was rebellious. I'm pretty sure he abused drugs and alcohol."

"Oh shit," I swore.

"Yeah, I heard that he had an abusive dad who beat him and his mom and that's why he's always like this. But he does have a soft spot for Kyungsoo."

"Who's Kyungsoo again?"

"The small kid who looks like Pororo."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah, Jongin would do anything for that kid," Yixing explained. "Kyungsoo's the only thing that can calm him down when he's in a mood."

"So what about Luhan?"

"Oh Luhan," Yixing said as he cleared his throat. "He's Chinese, his family moved here a few years back and he ended getting into the wrong crowd. He started going to parties, taking drugs, drinking alcohol, it was honestly a mess. One day, he just tried to end it, but when he woke up he wasn't dead, he was here, still breathing."

"So is Minseok and Luhan like-"

"Nobody really knows what they are, they do seem to be in love don't they?" Yixing questioned with a sigh.

"I noticed Minseok was shaky and nervous but when he looked at Luhan he calmed down," I explained to him.

"Oh yeah, Luhan always does that to Minseok. See the kid suffers from anxiety and depression, sometimes his whole mind just shuts down, it's awful. I was hanging with him one time and I saw all the scars that covered his arms, legs, and even a few on the side of his neck. He's got it bad, but Luhan always seems to help him. It's kind of sweet actually."

"Yixing," I said with a small head tilt.

"Hmh?" Yixing hummed in response as his head perked up.

"How do you know so much about these people?"

"I ask a lot of questions," Yixing said with a small. "And I hacked their files."

My eyes widened at his words.

"You can't just hack someone," I told him bluntly.

"Oh well, it's alright," Yixing said. "Don't you want to know more about Baekhyun anyway?"

I perked up at the mention of Baekhyun.

"Yes," I responded as I leaned in closer to him.

"Well-"

"All patients please return to your rooms for scheduled activities," a voice over the intercom said.

"Oh, I love activities time," Yixing said as he got out of his seat.

I grabbed his hand quickly as he looked at me with confused eyes.

"Wait, I need to know about Baekhyun," I told him. I really did need to know, I had to know. I needed to know.

"I'll tell you at lunch okay? Just pick gardening," Yixing said as he skipped away.

I watched with confusion. I didn't know what he meant by choose gardening but I guess I will later.

-

"So Chanyeol, what would you like for an activity this week?" The nurse asked me with a warm smile as she handed me a clipboard full of different activities.

I looked through the list quickly, when my eyes stopped at gardening.

"I'll do gardening," I told her and handed the clipboard back.

"Wonderful choice," the nurse said. "I'll take you out there."

I nodded once and followed the girl out of my room and down the hall. Into the familiar elevator, to the lobby, and out the door. She took me around the building where the gardens were.

"Make sure you don't plant them too deep, or they won't grow," a man called.

"Hey Donghee," the nurse called. The man turned around and a huge smile came to his face.

"Sunkyu!" The man said happily as he went over to hug the girl. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"I know, I'm sorry," Sunkyu said sincerely. "But I brought someone new."

"Oh hello, it's so nice to meet you, I hope you join us next week as well, I'm Donghee the director of this activity," the man said with his jolly personality.

"I'm Chanyeol," I answered.

"Well, Chanyeol why don't you pick up a shovel and a pack of seeds and start planting, or there are always plants that need watering," Donghee said to me.

"Thanks, I'll do what I can," I told him.

Donghee looked over, his smile dropping.

"Hey, no Jisung, that's not the way plants are planted," Donghee called and ran over to a small boy who was trying to burry flowers in the dirt.

"Have fun Chanyeol," Sunkyu said as she walked off.

I looked around, not sure where to start. I saw a watering can full of cold water a decided to just start giving some plants water. I went to the many different plants, checking if they were dry before drizzling water onto them. I continued to do this for a little while until something caught my eye.

It was that purple flower Baekhyun gave me, the one I pressed into a book.

"Channie."

My eyes widened as I spun around to see him. Baekhyun.

His sleeves were rolled up and I could see his scars. They were bad and deep.

"Hey, Baekhyun," I said getting a bit nervous. "How's it going?"

Baekhyun didn't say anything to me, he just stared.

"Do you always like to garden?" I asked, trying to make small talk.

I noticed Baekhyun's hands started to shake. He was getting nervous and I didn't know what to do.

Without thinking I grabbed his hand into mine and held it, placing the watering can on the ground.

"Hey, are you okay? You're shaking a lot," I said with concern as I locked eyes with him.

"I-I'm fine," Baekhyun finally said, pulling his hand away from mine.

I watched as he frantically tried to pull down his sleeves.

"So-"

"I have to go," Baekhyun interrupted and walked away fast.

I watched sadly as the boy left me there. Alone. That's how it always is. That's how it will always be.

-

"Hey, Chanyeol!"

I turned to see Yixing in front of me. He pulled me and my tray of food to a small table in the back of the cafeteria.

"How was talking to Baekhyun?" Yixing asked as he leaned closer towards me.

"Uh, he didn't really talk to me," I told him. It kind of hurt that he didn't talk to me, or seem interested at all.

"How badly was he shaking?" Yixing asked with interest.

I was a little shocked he knew Baekhyun was shaking when I talked to him.

"Pretty badly, it was noticeable," I said as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Oh my god," Yixing said with a huge smile. "That means he likes you, that's good."

My eyes widened at Yixing's words.

"He likes me?" I questioned with a head tilt as Yixing took a bit of his lunch.

He just simply nodded.

"Take care of him okay? He's been hurt too much," Yixing said sadly.

"I will don't worry," I answered him.

"Yixing, your parents are here for you," a nurse said that came up to us. Her smile was warm and calming, unlike most of the nurses her.

"Yes! Thank you Sooyoung," Yixing said with delight. "I'll see you in a few days Chanyeol."

"Wait, but what about my questions?" I asked, needing to know more about everyone.

"Just ask Junmyun, he'll happily tell you," Yixing said as he got up and followed the girl, Sooyoung.

I looked at him before turning back to the food I didn't want to eat. I kept thinking about what Yixing said. Baekhyun likes me.

-

It's been three days now since I've been here. I haven't even tried to talk to anyone else. To be honest, I was scared to. Not everyone looked as nice as Yixing. I decided to walk around the ward a little bit, do some exploring while I'm here. It's not like they filled my schedule with anything yet.

There were lots of people just standing around. Lot's of them were staring at me. I kept walking down a narrow hallway I took a right where there weren't as many people. The hall started to get a little dark but then I heard it. A voice. I followed it, wanting to make out what it was saying.

"Come on Baekhyun, I won't hurt you," I heard a voice through the eerie hall. I froze when I heard Baekhyun's name.

"No, leave me alone," I could hear the fear in Baekhyun's voice. "I don't want to."

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to help him, I could almost feel his pain. I turned a corner quickly to see to see Baekhyun pinned against the wall at the end of the hall, a man staring at him intensely, I felt sick to stomach Baekhyun looked over and saw me. He didn't flinch or anything, he just stared at me.

"Hey!" I yelled without thinking, not sure what my plan is.

The man looked over at me with irritation and annoyance. My heart sank to my feet, he looked like he might kill me.

"L-leave him alone," I said a bit nervously, my fist was clenched tightly, regretting my decision to speak up, but once I saw Baekhyun's terrified face, again, courage ran through me.

The man snickered through his teeth, letting go of Baekhyun and coming over to me.

"Who the hell are you?" the man asked as he looked me up and down.

"It's none of your business," I said, trying to gather all my courage.

"You want some bacon too?" the man asked me with a smirk.

I looked at the terrified boy and let out a sigh.

"Just leave him alone," I said with a bit more anger.

"What are you going to do about it?" the man asked, smug look on his face

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close.

"I'll make you wish you were never born," I said, my voice deep and raspy.

The man looked a little scared, he glared at me and pushed me off of him.

"You piece of shit," the man swore at me as he walked away.

I looked at Baekhyun who fell on the ground and started to cry into his hands. I went over and crouched down next to him.

"Are you alright?" I asked nervously. I tried to put a hand on the boy but he flinched and shifted away.

"Yes, I'm fine," he mumbled, as he slowly got up and wiped the tears from his face.

"You don't seem fine," I told him with concern as I stood up straight.

"I am, it happens a lot," Baekhyun said, looking down at his feet.

"People just sexually harass you and you let it happen?" I asked with shock, a bit of anger trailing in my voice.

"There's nothing I can do about it," Baekhyun said softly.

"Scream, run, kick, anything to make them stop," I told the boy.

He started to cry again, causing my body to freeze.

"It's not that easy Chanie," Baekhyun said as he looked up with teary eyes. "It's not that easy."

"Baekhyun," I mumbled as the boy ran off.

I felt like an idiot. I caused him just as much pain as that man did. Why am I such an idiot?

-

"Junmyun, I don't want you to go," I heard a voice from the other side of the stale.

I had come into the bathroom to get a little alone time, but I ended up eavesdropping on someone's personal conversation. It was just an accident, I didn't mean to be stuck in the middle of it.

"I'm sorry but I can't stay here anymore," another voice said. "I'll come visit you every day though."

"No, I want to be with you all the time not just an hour of every day," the boy said, getting upset.

"Sehun I'm sorry," Junmyun said.

"How am I suppose to sleep at night without you, I can't sleep alone," Sehun said sadly. He sounded like he was going to cry.

"I'll call you at night and talk to you before you fall asleep," Sehun suggested.

"It's not the same."

There was a moment of silence, neither one of them saying anything to each other.

"Hunnie promise me this," Junmyun said, breaking the silence. "You'll get out of here. Happy and well."

Another small pause, where only the sound of the air vents could be heard.

"I promise," Sehun said simply.

I could hear the sound of their kiss as I sat on the toilet with my feet up. I didn't want to get caught.

"I love you," Myunjun said softly.

"I love you too," Sehun responded.

I waited a few seconds before I heard them leave. I put my feet down and let out a small sigh. Their story was kind of sad, they loved each other but were forced to be apart just because doctors think Junmyun is doing better, but the truth is, he's not better. None of us are.

-

Five days, no call from my parents. I feel like I've been abandoned here to die. I felt worthless, unwanted in the worst possible way.

"Chanyeol!"

I looked over from my seat to see a very familiar face.

"Yixing, hi," I answered back with a smile. It was nice to see him again after a few days. It's honestly been hard without him here.

"How have you been?" Yixing asked.

"It's been alright," I said simply as I rested my head in my hand. "How was your trip?"

"It was fantastic, honestly I missed home so much," Yixing said with a sad smile. He already looked homesick.

"Well.maybe you'll get released soon," I said, trying to cheer the boy up.

"You're right, it is possible," Yixing said as we sat in the recreational room together.

"Hey, I've still got questions," I said, knowing I needed to know more about this place and it's people.

"Yes, I love answering questions," Yixing said excitedly.

"Okay, first, what's with the guy in group therapy that doesn't talk?" I asked.

I've had four more group therapy sessions. Every day we'd go around and say a positive and a negative thing, but every day, one boy would get skipped. He got me staring once, and his cold eyes locked with mine. It sent chills down my body.

"Oh, that's Zitao, but everyone calls him Tao," Yixing said simply.

"Why doesn't he ever talk?"

"Well, you see," Yixing said as he looked down with sadness. "Tao had this friend, lover some might say, who was going through a pretty rough time. His name was Kris. The two were inseparable if one was around the other was close by. One day, Kris lost it. He just snapped and ended it. His life. Tao was the one to find his body on the floor of his room. He had overdosed on some meds he stole from the pharmacy. Tao pretty much shut down after that. He didn't know what to do without his second half. He still doesn't know what to do."

I looked at Yixing with sad eyes as he thought about the sad story for a moment.

"That's terrible," I said under my breath.

"So now he never talks," Yixing told me. "Lots of people are saying he'll never get better."

I looked at him with concern, hopping Baekhyun wasn't going through the same thing.

"You know he actually tried to kill himself last week," Yixing said as he put his finger to his chin, in thought.

"How?" I asked, not thinking it was easy to kill yourself in a place like this.

"He was going to jump from the roof," Yixing said pointing up.

"Why didn't he?"

"Because," Yixing started as he looked around and leaned close to me. "Don't tell anyone, but Luhan is the only thing keeping him going."

"Wait, but I thought Minseok was-"

"He is, Luhan and Tao are just really good friends," Yixing explained.

"Oh okay," I said simply.

"Did you talk to Baekhyun anymore?" Yixing asked excitedly.

I thought for a moment and remembered the hall incident.

"Oh, sort of," I said rather sadly. "Does he get himself into a lot of trouble?"

"Oh no, what happened?" Yixing asked, knowing the reason for my question.

"Some guy was harassing him, but Baekhyun definitely didn't want to be around him," I told Yixing.

"Don't tell anyone this but," Yixing said as he looked around with caution. "I think people try to rape him."

My eyes saddened when he said this.

"I'm pretty sure Jongin got in his pants, I'd watch out for him," Yixing told me.

"I will, don't worry," I said, knowing I had to protect Baekhyun. I had to.

-

"Chanyeol, you've got a phone call," the nurse known as Sunkyu said as she entered my room.

It's been a week already that I've been here and now they call. I put down my book with a bit of irritation and got up from my bed, walking to the door.

I followed Sunkyu to a small room where the phone lay on a table. I sat down at the table and picked the phone up, placing it to my ear.

"Hello?" I questioned, wanting to know if it was my mom or dad and when I'd be able to see them again and-

"Hey kid, how's it been?"

It was just my older sister.

"Oh, hey sis."

"Wow, you sound awful."

"Cause I am. How's mom and dad."

"They're not doing too well, they've been fighting a lot. Every time I go over there, they argue."

"That's why they haven't called."

"They said they wanted to Yeolie but they've just been really stressed out and busy."

"I know, I'm not mad about it."

"That's good. Well, I got to get going, I've got classes this afternoon."

"Oh yeah, how's the semester going?"

"It's not too bad, my grades are good and my teacher thinks I can become an excellent writer."

"I'm proud of you."

"Thanks bro, I'll talk soon okay."

"Okay."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

"Bye."

Click

I hung up the phone and looked to Sunkyu who was standing in the doorway, waiting for me to finish.

"Are you ready?" She asked me.

I simply nodded as she guided me out of the room. I couldn't believe my sister was going to be a writer while I'm still in this nut house. I really just want to go home.

-

It was late that night and I couldn't sleep. My eyes were wide open as I looked at the imperfection of the ceiling once again. My mind was wandering too much.

I got up from my bed and walked towards the door. Maybe a walk around the ward would help me sleep. I opened my room door and walked down the empty hall. It was dark and a little scary.

I continued my path down the eerie hall, as I looked at room numbers and residents. Lots of names I didn't know, Lee Jinki, Choi Minho, Lee Taemin, Kim Kibeom, Kim Jonghyun, Lee Taeyong, Moon Taeil. I stopped when I noticed one of the names.

Byun Baekhyun.

I looked at the door as my hand traced over the nametag. Then I heard it. The soft crying coming from his room.

Without hesitation, I opened the bedroom door and barged in.

Baekhyun looked up at me with teary eyes, a pillow clutched to his chest. We locked eyes as the world stopped its motion. I felt a sensation to hug the boy, but my body wouldn't move.

"Chanie," Baekhyun said softly, the only thing lighting the room was the moonlight. "I'm scared."

I stared at the boy with confusion, not sure what to do.

"What are you scared of?"

"The monsters," he replied, he looked terrified.

"The monsters?" I questioned, but I already knew what he meant.

"Please make them stop," Baekhyun said softly, his voice trailing off as he started to cry into the pillow again.

My heart stopped as I inched closer to his bed where he sat. I knew I was probably not supposed to be here, but I wanted to help him, I needed to. I sat at the foot of the bed in front of him as I listened to the painfully muffled cries.

He glanced up at me once his crying started to cease, his sniffling was still uncontrollable as he lifted his head slowly giving me sad eyes.

Before I knew it Baekhyun had fallen into him, holding onto me tightly. I wrapped my hands around him as well, but what surprised me the most was that he didn't cry. He was safe in my arms, he didn't have the need to cry anymore. I felt happy, for once in my life.

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun said softly with another sniffle. "But they wouldn't leave me alone."

"It's okay," I told him. "It's okay."

"It's okay," Baekhyun repeated as he clung to me tighter.

But was it really okay?

-

It's been about three days and I haven't seen Bakehyun. I haven't seen him in the garden, at lunch, in the rec room, nowhere. I was starting to get worried.

"Hey, Chanyeol!"

I looked up from my deep thought and saw a very familiar face.

"Hey Yixing," I responded with a weak smile.

"What's wrong? You look upset," Yixing said as he sat down at my table in the small library.

"Well I am stuck here," I said with a smirk on my face, but he didn't think it was funny.

"I'm serious," Yixing said with a bit of annoyance. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I haven't seen Baekhyun in three days," I said with a sigh.

"Oh," Yixing said simply. "I know why."

My eyes widened.

"What?!"

"He's in a more confined unit that's why you haven't seen him," Yixing told me as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Wait why?"

"I'm not really sure, I didn't have time to look," Yixing said. 

I just simply looked down with a bit of sadness, I just really wanted to help the boy.

-

"A phone call for you Chanyeol," the nurse said rather dully.

I got up from his bed and went over to the nurse. It had been three days now since I've heard anything about Baekhyun.

She lead me into the phone room and closed the door. Every day felt more and more like a prison.

I picked up the phone, thinking it would be my sister again.

"Hello?"

"Oh my God, Chanyeol, sweetie are you okay?"

It was my mom.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied through my teeth.

"Your father and I are really worried about you, we just hope you're getting better."

"Yeah."

"Have you been eating? Did you make any new friends-"

"Yeah, and you know what, why don't you just leave me alone while I get better, you seemed to be doing a good job of that earlier."

Click

I hung up the phone with anger, not wanting to talk with my mother anymore. She made me angry. She never cared about me, only herself.

-

I sat in the hallway, reading a book when suddenly I saw something interesting.

The boy, Zitao, was in a straitjacket in a wheelchair, being taken down the hall.

He glared at me for a moment, sending shivers down my spine. 

I had to tell Yixing. 

I ran down the hall to the rec room where I saw Yixing run in at the same time. 

"Chanyeol!" he practically yelled. 

"Yixing!" I called. 

"Did you see Zitao?" we both asked at the same time. 

"I just saw him, what happened?" I asked knowing Yixing would know the answer. 

"He got violent with a nurse, he wanted him to take his meds but he refused and grabbed him by the collar throwing him to the ground, then the other nurses put him down. I heard him yelling I need to die," Yixing explained.

"Holy crap," I said with wide eyes, even more, terrified of that Zitao guy. 

"And I have other news," Yixing said excitedly. 

I looked at him with a head tilt. 

"Baekhyun's back."

-

I rushed quickly down the hall to where Baekhyun's room was. The door was closed but I decided to open it anyway. 

I looked to see him staring out the window. I'd never been so happy to see him after a week. 

"Baekhyun," I said softly. 

Baekhyun turned around slowly as he looked at me with worried eyes. 

"Chanie?" Baekhyun questioned. 

I went over to Baekhyun and without thinking, hugged him tightly. 

"I missed you so much," I said feeling a lump grow in my throat. 

"No," Baekhyun said softly as he pushed me away. "You'll get hurt."

I looked at him with sad eyes. I looked at his hands, they were shaking a lot. 

"The monsters will hurt you," Baekhyun said looking down as he backed away from me slowly. "I don't want them to hurt you."

"They won't Baekie," I told him trying to get closer to him but he kept backing away. 

"Chanie please go, I don't want them to hurt you, I don't want them to, I don't them to," Baekhyun said falling down to the ground as tears fell from his eyes. 

"Baek-"

"Just go," he begged. "Go."

I looked at Baekhyun with sadness as he cried more. 

I couldn't do anything so I just left. 

-

It was faint, but I heard it, the crying. It was probably midnight. I couldn't sleep and I was wondering the halls. Baekhyun was the only thing in my mind, I couldn't do anything about it. 

Without thinking, I made my way towards the crying sound. 

I looked into a small room with a tv and couches, where a small boy was sitting at the window crying into his arms. 

I let out a sigh and went over to comfort him. 

"Hey, don't cry okay," I said as I put a hand on his back. 

The boy looked up at me quickly, I suddenly recognized him from the group therapy. His name was Kyungsoo. 

"I can't help it," Kyungsoo said with a sniffle. 

"Well, why don't you tell me what happened," I said to him hoping I could help him since I couldn't help Baekhyun. 

"You wouldn't be interested," Kyungsoo said.

"I am," I told him. 

"It's just, I'm so confused," he said wiping his tears from his face. 

"With?"

"With Jongin," Kyungsoo said as he locked eyes with me. "When we're alone he's so sweet to me and tells me that I'm the only one he wants, but then he goes and fucks around with other people and tells people that I'm nothing to him. I can't do it anymore."

"Did you tell him that?" 

"No, I don't want to get him angry," Kyungsoo said sadly. 

I looked down, not sure what to tell the boy. 

"Maybe you should ignore him if he's hurting you," I suggested. 

"I've tried that before, he just comes back," Kyungsoo said as tears started to glaze his eyes again. "I just wish his sweet side would show all the time."

I didn't know what else to do but pull Kyungsoo in for a hug. He seemed to need it, and to be honest, I needed one too. He clung to my back tightly as he cried into my shoulder. 

"Kyungsoo!"

The boy let go of me quickly and looked to the doorway. 

There was Jongin standing there, breathing heavily. 

He looked at me with anger. 

"You son of a bitch," he mumbled under his breath before going over to me and hoisting me up by my shirt collar. "If you fucking touched him I'll kill you."

"Jongin, it's fine," Kyungsoo said, getting up quickly and grabbing Jongin's arm. 

Jongin looked down at Kyungsoo and instantly went soft. He threw me to the side and looked at Kyungsoo with worry. 

"Baby, why are you crying in here, I was looking for you," Jongin said, sounding sincere. 

"Why? Shouldn't you be looking for Baekhyun or something," Kyungsoo said, looking down away from Jongin's glare. 

"I'm not doing that shit anymore, I thought we talked about it," Jongin said, lifting Kyungsoo's chin up so he'd look at him. 

"Yeah I thought we did, but then you go and say to your friends that you're going to fuck around with the new kid Mark and see if he's better than Baekhyun," Kyungsoo said sounding angrier than before. 

"I'm sorry, I only said that as a joke I'd never meant it," Jongin said. 

"How can I trust you?" 

Jongin looked at Kyungsoo with sorrow and let out a deep sigh. 

"I can't make you trust me, but I'm telling the truth either way," Jongin told him. "Please, Kyungsoo, I can't live without you. I'll stop my cool talk and everything if it just means you'll stay with me."

Kyungsoo looked down, thinking about Jongin's words thoroughly, before looking back up at the taller boy. 

"Fine, but this is your last chance," Kyungsoo said sternly. 

Jongin smiled at the boy before giving him a sweet and loving kiss.

I just looked at them, wondering how they found love in a place like this. Then I remembered Baekhyun.

-

"Oh Chanyeol, I was just going to look for you," the man known as Donghee said to me. 

I looked at him with confusion. 

"Baekhyun's in the garden, he was calling your name but when I tried to talk to him he ignored me. He just said he needed Chanie," Donghee explained. 

My eyes widened. I ran down the hall to the elevator, pushing the button quickly. I waited impatiently for the elevator to get to the floor and once it did, I quickly got in and hit the first-floor button. It had been a week without seeing Baekhyun and now he needed me. 

Before the doors could close, an arm blocked it. The doors opened revealing a boy known as Sehun. He looked exhausted like he hasn't slept in days.

"Oh, Chanyeol," Sehun said to me as he got into the elevator and hit the second-floor button. 

"Sehun, you look exhausted, have you slept?" I asked, suddenly feeling worried about the boy. It had been two weeks now since Myunjun left, I've seen him visit often but Sehun just seems to be getting worse. 

"I haven't, no," Sehun said as the doors closed. "I'm getting sleep pills right now"

I felt bad for him. He seemed so lost and it was because Junmyun was gone. 

"Hey, Sehun," I said, breaking the silence. 

Sehun looked over at me with his tired eyes. 

"Pretend your fine," I told him. "It's the only way you'll get back to Junmyun."

Sehun's eyes widened when I mentioned Junmyun. The soft ding of the elevator indicated that we were on the second-floor. The doors opened and Sehun stepped out. I smiled slightly as the doors closed again. I needed to get to Baekhyun. 

The elevator finally got to the first floor. I ran out, going outside and around the building to where I first met Baekhyun.

I got there and there he was. Sitting on the ground with a purple flower in his hand. I let out a sigh and went over to him. 

"Chanie. I need you. Chanie. I need you," he kept repeating. 

I sat down next to the boy and put an arm around him. 

"I'm here," I said to the boy.

Baekhyun stopped and looked over at me, he started to become shakey. 

"Chanie," Baekhyun said softly as we locked eyes. "I shouldn't have pushed you away."

"It's okay," I said to him. 

"I really like you," Baekhyun said with a sniffle as he looked like he might cry. "But, the way I like you is different, and I'm scared you won't like me like that, but I don't care cause I just want you to be close to me-"

Baekhyun was interrupted by my lips, pressing against his own. He was shocked at first but soon let into it. I slowly backed away and looked him in the eyes. 

"Don't start," I said to him. "I like you like that too."

Baekhyun just looked at me with wide eyes. He didn't know what to say or what to do, but the only thing that I noticed, was that he stopped shaking.

-

"Hey Chanyeol, I haven't seen you in awhile," Yixing said as we ate our lunch together. 

"Yeah," I said, not really paying attention because I was looking for Baekhyun. 

"Who are you looking for?" Yixing questioned with a smirk. "Rhetorical question, it's Baekhyun."

I looked at Yixing and let out a sigh. 

"Yeah," I confessed, my heart feeling warm just thinking about him. 

"Cute, did you make your move yet?" 

"Yeah, I kissed him yesterday."

Yixing's eyes widened, surprised by the answer. 

"Seriously?" He asked with surprise. 

"Yup, he confessed that he had a thing for me, but his speech was long so I shortened it with a kiss," I told him with a smile. 

"That's so cute," He cooed as he hit me on the arm. "I wish I had that kind of love."

I just simply smiled thinking life won't be so bad if Baekhyun's in it.

"Oh, guess what," Yixing said with a bit of excitement. 

"What?" 

"Sehun's getting discharged this Sunday," Yixing said. "Another couple gets to be united."

"Already?" I questioned to myself, thinking about our conversation in the elevator. 

"Yeah, he's been working on getting discharged every since Myungjun left, I guess it's finally happening."

"Yeah," I said simply. 

"Chanyeol," a nurse said to me. "Can you come with me for a minute."

I looked at her with confusion and then back at Yixing who just simply shrugged his shoulders. 

I nodded at the nurse and followed her out of the cafeteria. 

"What's this about?" I asked as I followed her shadow. 

She didn't answer me. 

I let out a sigh just aimlessly following this nurse. I suddenly knew where we were going when she took me into the same room they put me in when the doctor talked to me. 

She brought me in and to my surprise, I saw Baekhyun trembling in the corner of the room, his knees up to his chest. 

"Baek," I said softly as I went over to him. 

He looked up at me with puppy eyes as I crouched down to his level. 

"Don't let them hurt me Chanie," Baekhyun said with fear. 

I looked to the nurse with a head tilt. 

"He needs to take a shot, and he won't take it," the nurse said to me. 

"You won't take your shot?" I questioned. 

He just looked at me and shook his head no. 

"Baek, you have to," I told him, but he just buried his head back into his knees. 

"It's gonna hurt," he said, in the cutest voice I have ever heard. 

"It won't, I promise," I tried to tell him. "You need to take your shot so you can be healthy and live a long time with Chanie."

Baekhyun perked up when I mentioned myself. He looked at me with wide eyes. 

"Chanie?" He questioned, sounding very innocent. 

"Yeah, will you do it for me?"

Bakehyun just looked at me with wide eyes, before nodding slightly. 

I took Baekhyun's hand and helped him up off the ground. He immediately grabbed me and pulled me close, holding on to me tightly. 

"Are you ready?" I asked him. 

He just nodded, his face buried in my shoulder.

"I'm not letting go," He whined. 

I looked at the nurse and nodded for her to do it now. She quickly got the needle and brought it over. 

"Okay ready, one. Two. Three," I said as I felt him hold me tighter, the nurse sticking the needle in one three. She took it out as Baekhyun was still buried into me. "It's done."

Baekhyun slowly let go and looked at me, then at his arm. He looked back at me and smiled. 

"You were right," he said to me." It didn't hurt."

"I told you," I said to him with a small smile as I stroked his caramel colored hair. "You can trust."

"I can trust you," Bakehyun repeated. 

-

"Minseok, where are you going?" I heard in the hall. 

I thought I'd sit in the hallway and read for a little while, but of course, something had to go down. 

"Away from you," I heard Minseok say. He sounded angry. 

"Minseok-"

"Don't start, how could you just not defend me, I thought you cared," Minseok said. 

My head peaked around the corner to see Luhan looking down at Minseok with sorrow. 

"I'm sorry I chocked," Luhan said and tried to put a hand on Minseok but he pushed him away. 

"It could have been worse," Minseok said, now sounding sad. "You know how Jinki can be, he fucked Baekhyun."

My heart stopped. I could only imagine what Baekhyun has been through, he must feel terrible. 

"Minnie, it won't happen again I promise," Luhan said to him. 

"Don't, I need to be alone," Minseok said as I heard the sound of footsteps walking away. 

I let out a sigh and got up from the ground. I turned the corner to see Luhan still standing there. 

"I'm sorry," I said to him with a bit of sadness. 

"Don't be," Luhan said as he turned around to face me. "I'm leaving tomorrow anyway."

"Wow, that's great," I said to him, but he didn't seem too happy about it. 

"Don't tell him," he said to me. 

"Why didn't you help him?" I asked. 

"I," Luhan started as he looked to the ground. "I don't know."

I just looked at him not saying a word. I didn't know what to say. I had nothing to say. 

-

"Chanyeol! Chanyeol! Chan Chan Chan!" 

Yixing came running into my room, panicked and out of breath. 

"What?" I asked with confusion. 

"It's Baekhyun, he's in trouble," Yixing said to me with fear. 

I quickly got up and ran out of the room Yixing following behind quickly, trying to show me the way. He brought me to the dark hallway where I had seen Baekhyun getting picked on before. 

"Come on Baekhyun, I know you want it," I heard a voice say as I turned the corner. 

I saw Baekhyun with the same man as before. He looked just as terrified. 

"Get the fuck off of him," I said with anger. 

The man looked back at me with a smirk. 

"Jesus Chanyeol, you always ruin everything," the man said with irritation. 

"That's Jinki," Yixing whispered in my ear. 

"Get away from him," I said sternly. 

"Or?"

I walked up to him and looked him in the eyes with anger. 

"It's your funeral," I told him as I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to the ground. I got on top of him and started to beat his face, hitting him continuously until blood started to drip from his nose. 

"Okay, okay," Jinki said with fear.

I stopped my motion and looked at his beaten face. 

"I won't mess with him again," Jinki said as tears fell from his eyes. 

"You better not," I said as I got up from the ground. 

"Chanie," Baekhyun said softly as he hugged me tightly. "You saved me."

"I saved you," I repeated with a sigh. 

-

"Chanyeol," Yixing said to me at our usual lunch period. He looked upset.

"Yeah?" I questioned with concern. 

"I have to tell you something," Yixing said sadly.

I just looked at him intently. 

"I'm leaving tomorrow," Yixing said. 

My eyebrows furrowed at his words. 

"What?" I questioned with shock. 

"I'm sorry Chanyeol, they said I was getting better and I know I should have told you sooner but I didn't want to and-"

"Yixing, I'm so proud of you," I said as a smile came to my face throwing him off. 

"Wha-"

"That's so great that you're getting out, I'm so happy for you," I said sincerely. 

"You are?" Yixing questioned. 

"Yes, I really hope your life turns out great when you're on the other side," I told him. 

He smiled at me a tear in his eyes as he got up from his seat and went over to hug me. 

"Thank you Chanyeol," Yixing said softly. "I'm so glad I met you."

-

I was walking down the hall late at night when I noticed where I was. I followed the name tags carefully. Lee Jinki, Choi Minho, Lee Taemin, Kim Kibeom, Kim Jonghyun, Lee Taeyong, Moon Taeil. I stopped when I noticed Byun Baekhyun. 

I took a deep breath and opened his door, just needing to see him so badly. I haven't seen him in a couple days and it was killing me to be apart from the boy. 

I walked in, my heart almost stopped when I saw Baekhyun popping what seemed to be thirty pills. I ran to him and grabbed his arm, squeezing his cheeks to try and get him to spit them out. He was so surprised by my entrance that he couldn't breathe. 

"Baekhyun, what are you doing?" I asked frantically, being scared for him. 

"I couldn't do it anymore Chanie, every day I wonder why I'm alive," Baekhyun said as he looked into my eyes. "There's no reason to live anymore, I don't want to."

"I know how you feel, and I know that sometimes it's hard but you have to keep going because eventually, it'll be okay," I told him. 

"But how do you know?" Baekhyun questioned.

"I don't know," I told him. "All I know is that when I met you, I knew it'd be okay."

Baekhyun's body stopped shaking when I said this. 

"You made me, not want to die," I told him, still staring into his eyes. "And if you die, I'll die."

Baekhyun just stared at me with wide eyes. 

"I know it hurts now but if you kill yourself, you won't get rid of the pain, you'll just give it to someone else," I said simply. "You'll give it to me."

Baekhyun couldn't say anything, he just started crying. 

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun said. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"You won't, just stay alive for me okay?"

"Okay," Baekhyun responded. 

"And when we get out, I'll never leave your side," I told him as I put my hand on the side of his face. 

"Okay."

"Baekhyu."

"What?"

"I love you," I told him with a small teary smile as I stroked his hair. 

"I love you too," he said, giving me a teary smile back. 

I leaned into him and gave him a long, sweet, loving kiss. I knew from that day on that he was the one for me, that he was my everything. 

Now looking back on it, being married to Baekhyun and having adopted a kid together I think I always knew, from the day I saw him in that garden. I knew that he was the one, that this was real love. 

-end

*I'm sorry Kookangs, the ending was stupid as shit, but I finished and that's all that matters. If any of you have questions about the story please ask cause there might be some holes or loose ends, I hope you liked it (^.^).*

-katz


End file.
